Omnia Sursum Deorsum Versare
by Kang Xiu
Summary: When one day Skinner becomes even odder than usual, the League attempts to find out why. Mainly this involves following him around and speculating. :)


"Omnia Sursum Deorsum Versare"  
  
Chapter One: Dorian Begins  
  
I was in my room at the time, washing my face in the basin by my bed and trimming my beard slightly--you know, I'm pleased with my beard. No matter what Lord Henry said, this dark brown colour suits me better than golden. I'm glad I dyed it.  
  
At any rate, I was simply making a late morning toilette, and I didn't see that anything would be unusual about the day. There hardly ever is, really. Nemo skulks around in his turban and that ridiculous beard looking like an angry shadow; Jekyll sits in his room and acts tragic; Mina stands around trying to look sultry and prim at the same time; Quartermain shoots at things and looks wise; Skinner meddles and gets glared at; and Sawyer is largely irritating.  
  
And just as I was thinking that perhaps I'd try for some of Jekyll's potion, since that's one of the two things I hadn't got yet, in walked an overcoat.  
  
As one would imagine, I thought it was Skinner. Who else would it be? But the overcoat was buttoned all the way up, and Skinner's absurd hat was missing.  
  
And then, in the prim, posh accent all of Lord Henry's friends used, the air above the coat said, "Mr. Gray, I request the loan of a suit."  
  
Well, even I must admit I did a double-take. "Skinner," I said the second I'd recovered, "go play with Jekyll or tease Quartermain. I don't have patience for this."  
  
The coat said, sounding scandalised, "I beg your pardon! I should like to borrow a suit. This coat is positively obscene, but I am unable to find anything more suitable to wear."  
  
This was getting unbearable. "Oh, I think Jekyll will lend you something."  
  
"But you are the one with proper evening dress," the coat protested.  
  
"Skinner, /do/ go to hell," I said. I was absolutely mystified as to what the fool thought he was doing now.  
  
"Very well," the coat sniffed. "I shall inquire as to what Dr. Jekyll has available." Then it wafted out of my room.  
  
I rolled my eyes at the mirror, and observed that my disgusted sneer was rather alluring. I was pleased with the discovery, and I assumed that would be the last of the idiotic suit business.  
  
I was extremely irritated to find out that I was wrong.  
  
Chapter Two: Mina Encounters  
  
Of all the people I have ever met in my life, the man Skinner is the most irritating. Dorian is frustrating, but he is also beautiful and I occasionally fancy I love him, although this may be my error. Mr. Quartermain is a fool who sees us as stereotypes, but at least his chauvinism encourages him to treat me with some kind of respect. Skinner, however, has a complete disregard for behavioural standards. If it were not for his usefulness to the League, I could sometimes daydream of accidentally reacting in self-defence and biting him just a little--as a warning.  
  
So when I met him in the hall of the Nautilus, my first reaction was to cross away from him. I was slightly surprised and then completely astounded when he, too, crossed over, and said in a polite voice with a well-bred, condescending accent:  
  
"Good morning, Ms. Harker. Where might I find Dr. Jekyll?"  
  
"In his room, I suppose," I said, and then, after a pause, "Skinner?"  
  
"Actually, Ms. Harker, it's Mr. James Lewis, Esq."  
  
"I beg your pardon?" I realised suddenly that this was another of his irritating practical jokes, and prepared to change my tone.  
  
"Mr. Lewis, Ms. Harker. Thank you for telling me the whereabouts of the Doctor." With that, the black overcoat which Skinner always wore bent at the waist in a bow, and walked quickly on.  
  
I confess I found myself utterly bewildered.  
  
I considered for a moment. Ought I to go after him? I thought, perhaps incorrectly, that it might not be a practical joke after all because he hadn't attacked me with it. When Skinner is playing pranks, he usually continues them until they become unbearable. This one--well, he'd come and then he'd left, with no unnecessary harping on. On the other hand, ought I find Nemo or Quartermain and inform them of this odd occurrence, or would they suspect me of overreacting? Ought I warm Dr. Jekyll?  
  
I decided to follow him, and, in the event I caught sight of any of the others, see if they'd encountered the same strange interaction I had. I started off down the hall.  
  
Chapter Three: Sawyer Carries On  
  
That fellow Skinner has always been a strange one. I never liked the way he treated Mina, but I know that's because I like her, and not because he's a customer. But above and beyond that, Skinner's not quite right in the head.  
  
I mean, it's all very well to be invisible, but that coat's too much. Don't you say a thing about my long coat. Skinner's coat is just show-offy. It's kinda like he's trying to make a statement: Look at me! If I can't run around naked, I'll run around in leather!  
  
Not that I'm condemning running around naked. I used to swim with all the boys when I was little, and we didn't exactly wear clothing then. But there weren't any girls around then, either.  
  
Strange as he is, though, what happened that morning was unbelievable.  
  
I was trying to think of a couple smart things to say to Mina so that she'd think better about me, when along came Skinner, dressed in that stupid coat, and suddenly he stopped me.  
  
"Mr. Sawyer, those suspenders are completely indecent. Be so good as to wear them properly," he said, in some sort of snotty voice.  
  
"What the hell?" I guess I was in kind of a bad mood. I didn't sleep so well the night before, and I always get easily het up when I'm tired.  
  
"And don't use that sort of language around me! I grant you in America, boys like yourself may go about swearing like sailormen, but here I expect better of you."  
  
"Oh, Skinner, come off it." God, he was annoying.  
  
"My name is Mr. James Lewis, Esq.," he said, sounding really snobbish and mad.  
  
"Yeah, right."  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I said yeah, right."  
  
"You, Mr. Sawyer, are a disrespectful little child. Excuse me." Then he just went on past me, off to Jekyll's room.  
  
Yeah... I think I stared. I mean, what would /you/ have done?  
  
Then Mina came up. "Sawyer!" she said. She has a real nice voice. When she uses that funny English accent, it sounds "well-bred" instead of "snobby". Anyway. "Sawyer! Have you seen Skinner?"  
  
"Yeah, he just went by. Is he okay?"  
  
"I have no idea. I'm trying to follow him. Do you think you might find Mr. Quartermain or Captain Nemo for me?"  
  
"'Course I could."  
  
"Thank you." And Mina followed Skinner.  
  
Well, of course, I went off to look for Quartermain and Nemo. They were in the library, talking about where was the best waterway to get into Venice by. Apparently the Nautilus is too big to fit into a lot of the streets. Actually, I don't think Nemo needed Quartermain's help, but he was there just the same.  
  
I said that Mina wanted them and there was a problem with Skinner, and we all went off down the hall.  
  
Chapter Four: Nemo Takes Up  
  
When Sawyer ran into the library and told Quartermain and myself that Ms. Harker wanted to speak to us about Skinner, I confess I was somewhat surprised. I first believed that the Invisible Man had overstepped the mark of propriety again. This, I think one would admit, was highly understandable.  
  
But as I walked with the others, Sawyer continued, and explained that Skinner had been acting very strangely. He mentioned the name Lewis, and a queer accent--and I began to wonder.  
  
I and the others were met in the hall by Mr. Gray, who inquired as to where everyone was going. When Quartermain informed him of Skinner's oddities, he nodded.  
  
"Ah! So he's still doing it, is he? The fellow burst into my room this morning asking for a suit. He gets more unbearable every day, really. Well, I'll come along. I want to see his explanation for this."  
  
And thus Mr. Gray fell into step with the others and myself.  
  
Ms. Harker was met outside of Dr. Jekyll's room. She explained that she had followed Skinner to this point, and it was here he had entered.  
  
The voices that could be made out through the door were soft, and I surmised that there was no conflict as of yet. I believe everyone was slightly unsure of what would be done next, when Quartermain rapped on the door.  
  
Dr. Jekyll's slightly raised voice said, "Come in," and I did so, followed by the others. He was sitting on his bed, speaking to Skinner, who was standing. Skinner was now dressed in one of Dr. Jekyll's suits, and looked, to be quite frank, absurd. He turned to the others and myself.  
  
"I see you are all here."  
  
To my astonishment, the voice was not that of Skinner--at least, not recognisably so. Quartermain looked equally stunned. Sawyer, Mr. Gray, and Ms. Harker did not seem so surprised by the change.  
  
"I am Mr. James Lewis, Esq."  
  
It took a moment to recover from my initial astoundment, but when I did, I could see at once that this had involved Dr. Jekyll. He was looking apologetic and slightly distressed, and it was clear he'd somehow been responsible. I was about to ask him to explain this situation to me when the Invisible Man continued his speech.  
  
"To-day is a very fine day, gentlemen--and madam," he said, bowing to Ms. Harker. "To-day I have finally come to be. I must apologise beforehand, however, for my somewhat painful transition to being. If someone might explain matters to Mr. Skinner when he returns, I would be most gratified."  
  
"I shall," said Dr. Jekyll, quietly but quickly.  
  
"Thank you, sir. Now. I suppose you are all wondering how this miraculous instance came about. Well, I owe it to Dr. Jekyll to let him explain it to you. In the meantime, I have not yet had my breakfast, or even a cup of tea, and if I might have a luncheon sometime in the near future, I would be very happy--though I don't wish to be a nuisance."  
  
"Of course not," I said, at a look from Dr. Jekyll. I have my pride, but I know when I should allow the person with more expertise to direct, even if he is British. I left the room for a moment and called for Mecula (all of my men took Latin names when they came on board the Nautilus).  
  
Mecula discreetly took the curious Mr. Lewis away to the dining room, and I re-entered Dr. Jekyll's room.  
  
"Well," he said nervously, "I suppose you do want to know what I happened."  
  
"I should say so!" Quartermain exclaimed. The man really must learn to have some patience, but one must expect vices in the British.  
  
"Well," Dr. Jekyll repeated, "I think--I think Hyde could best explain. If you'll pardon me for a moment--" He was silent for several minutes, apparently conversing with the creature in his mind. At last he faced me and the others in order to give us a small, apparently reassuring smile. Then he opened a box on his bedside table and took out a little vial.  
  
He cried out a little as the effects of the potion took hold, and then changed, rather grotesquely, into Edward Hyde.  
  
Chapter Five: Edward Explains  
  
Henry's only "giving" me a short time to explain, the bugger, so I'll make it quick. I've got about ten minutes before the formula wears off. He took a small dose.  
  
It's not as though this was anything serious. Skinner was a freak before, and a freak afterward, and it wore off pretty quick anyway. But here's what happened:  
  
Henry drank the formula. He's so pathetic! It's good for me, of course, but it doesn't stop him from being a worm. He drank it, and I suppose you think I would have gone around smashing those darky fellows up, but I didn't feel like it. I just like being out, instead of all crushed up inside Henry somewhere. But I was bored, and then, like a twisted kind of Godsend, in came Skinner.  
  
"Hello, Hyde," he said cheerfully.  
  
I asked Henry if I ought just throw the bastard out. I always ask Henry, as though he had a say in things. Drives him mad.  
  
Skinner came over and looked at the box of formula. "So," he said, "this is the potion everyone's always going on about? Doesn't look that dreadful, does it, when it's in a little box?"  
  
"Doesn't it?" I laughed. "It would split you in two pieces, you invisible freak."  
  
"Two pieces, eh? I wonder what my other half would be like."  
  
"He'd be good-looking, if you look anything like I think you do under that greasepaint. Wouldn't be a thief."  
  
"What you're saying is that if it splits into 'bad' and 'good', like the Doctor says, I'd end up with a good half."  
  
Polar twins, Henry said in my head. I snorted. "Not pissing likely. You'd end up with an opposite half." Henry was wondering why I'd agreed with him, and then all of a sudden he got it. Started shouting. Edward! Edward! like a concerned nursemaid. Shut up, Henry, I told him. "And it's not a good idea." I started to shut the box.  
  
"Oh, I know that. I'd hate to be in the same boat with you and Jekyll."  
  
"Buggering idiot." I gave Skinner a pitying look. "One vial isn't enough. Jekyll was good enough to keep on drinking it. Wanted to make a proper experiment of it. You'd only stick for a day, and then it'd be over. No, the reason it's not a good idea is because you're a menace."  
  
"Is that so."  
  
"Yes, it is. Now I'm going to see if Nemo's got anything more bloody edible than all those snails and goldfish he keeps putting out." I went for the door, and then turned. "If you touch it, Skinner, I'll break off your arms and stuff them--"  
  
"Right, right."  
  
He's not a fool, Edward, Henry whispered angrily as we left. He's not going to drink it. You're hardly subtle. I laughed. Henry's so pissing naive!  
  
Chapter Six: Quartermain Resumes  
  
This seemed to be one of those times when a man thinks that he has the most to fear from the enemy, and it turns out his allies are twice as bad. I hate getting old, and not only because of my eyesight. I'm always forgetting those things they teach a fellow when he's in school and trying to survive. Dickens! If ever a man was well-informed.  
  
At any rate, that's something I ought to have remembered beforehand, and not as I was listening to Skinner saying, in that affected accent, "I am Mr. James Lewis, Esq."  
  
James Lewis, Esq.!  
  
Or when Hyde was telling us, with one of his throaty chuckles that are calculated to frighten, "I always ask Henry, as though he had a say in things. Drives him mad."  
  
He's revolting, but necessary.  
  
Well, when Hyde changed back, leaving Jekyll crouched on the floor and looking as though he might burst into tears (the man has absolutely no stamina, which is something of damn shame), of course everyone wanted to know what we were going to do.  
  
Nemo was fit to be tied, and Gray was more amused than events warranted; Ms. Harker was asking what our course of action should be, somewhat hysterically, I thought, and Sawyer, looking as though he'd just found out the Fantom was M, was staring into space; and I was the only one keeping my head. I asked Jekyll if he wanted me to capture Skinner and have him locked up somewhere on the Nautilus.  
  
The poor fellow looked as though it cost him great effort to speak, but finally he said, "No... No, thank you... Thank you, Mr. Quartermain, but if I'm given a moment, I think--I think I shall be able to sort matters out on my own. I apologise for this situation. I'm really very sorry. I--I don't think it should effect us too badly. I'll just find Mr. Lewis and... and then I'll fix things."  
  
"If you think you're up to it," I said.  
  
"I should think so. Thank you. Just let me ask Captain Nemo--Captain! Where have you sent Mr. Lewis?"  
  
"To the dining room. My men have orders to prepare him a luncheon at his insistence."  
  
"Thank you very much, Captain. I think he'll have stayed quiet, then, and I shall go to him immediately."  
  
"Very well, Doctor."  
  
With that, Jekyll left the room, and I tried to restore order, including calming the now-quite-hysterical Ms. Harker, who was very nearly shrieking as she asked me where the Doctor had gone.  
  
Chapter Seven: Henry Fills In  
  
This whole mess was my fault.  
  
It was my fault because I drank the formula. I do know I shouldn't drink it, but I'm very like a man addicted to opium or morphine. I feel I need it. Sometimes I wake in the mornings with a pain in my head or with a sick feeling in my stomach. Sometimes I give in and sometimes I don't. Edward laughs in my head and tells me I might as well, because he knew how to get out on his own before I altered the balance of the formula--it's only a matter of time before he masters it again.  
  
That morning, I'd given in. You know of the resulting disaster.  
  
I was most thankful that Skinner hadn't drunk very much. One vial missing when I thought about it as the addicted man was horrifying, but as the doctor determining the situation, it was good. With any luck, the effects would have worn off before suppertime.  
  
Before the others came in, I was speaking to him.  
  
James Lewis was a harmless man, although he was a little insufferable. He doesn't mean to be, of course. But as Skinner's complete opposite, it seems unavoidable that he pick up all the traits that our Invisible Man failed to exhibit. He was very respectful of women. He found the idea of thievery completely abhorrent. The accent seemed to have come with the persona, in the way that Hyde's voice is deeper than mine and has the touch of a growl to it.  
  
Thus far, he seemed a very simple character. If he continued to drink the formula, as I did, he would have changed. I believe he would have become more complex, and begun to show signs of hostility.  
  
We all looked down upon Skinner as a nuisance, but I know his character must be far deeper than just the obnoxious Cockney thief we have set him down as. I am certain there are levels of his personality we have no idea about. With that in mind, as long as we looked at Mr. Lewis as the opposite of the simple character of Skinner, he was a simple opposite. When one looked at the complexities of the character, Mr. Lewis' complexities, too, would become apparent.  
  
If Skinner is really a good, brave man beneath his disagreeable witticisms, then Mr. Lewis would be an evil coward. It was just that he was a proper one.  
  
That was why he could never be given a chance to develop.  
  
He was in the dining room, as Nemo had said, eating fish soup and some crackers made out of the strange flour Nemo grinds. I sat down beside him.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Lewis."  
  
"Doctor," he nodded politely and went back to his soup.  
  
"I hope your luncheon is satisfactory."  
  
"Very much so. Thank you, Doctor."  
  
For a moment, I nearly contemplated giving him more formula. If he continued to change, if Skinner became like me, then I would no longer be alone. There would be another human who knew what the pain was like, and the fear. It was the most selfish, horrible thought I've ever had, and, I even dare to think, worse than any of Hyde's in its own way. I shuddered.  
  
"Mr. Lewis, I would like you to concentrate very hard. Can you hear a voice in the back of your mind?"  
  
He looked at me as though I were mad. I do not really blame him.  
  
Then he paused. "Yes."  
  
"Concentrate on the voice."  
  
"Yes, Doctor?"  
  
"Just continue to concentrate, please. Do you understand it?"  
  
"I do."  
  
"What is it telling you?"  
  
"To change." He frowned, and looked displeased. "It is using some rather unsavoury language, Doctor."  
  
"That's to be expected. Continue to concentrate and try to obey, beginning as of now." I sounded so calm! Usually my voice shakes. I'm used to that. I actually sounded as though I were in control of myself now.  
  
Well, where Skinner was stubborn, Mr. Lewis was complacent. He was about to do as I asked when suddenly he said, "I am afraid I don't know how."  
  
When Edward changes back on his own (which he only does occasionally), it's very easy. He knows what I look like, and he has a picture of me in his head to concentrate on. Mr. Lewis, apparently, had none. I was at a complete loss.  
  
Just then, the formula wore off.  
  
Chapter Eight: Skinner Ends  
  
No one will explain to me what happened that day after I took Jekyll's potion. Well, personally, I'm peachy with that. It gave me one hell of a headache, and I woke up in Jekyll's clothes, which I know is a bad thing.  
  
Jekyll remembers what happens while he's Hyde, so they all say they can't think why I don't. I think they know quite well, but they're not telling. Canny bunch. Anyway, it's not an experience I care to repeat. I thought about it, just as a joke and for a bit of revenge, but Hyde's threat is probably worth listening to. I got off easy this time.  
  
So instead I just stole Gray's razor, Quartermain's glasses, Nemo's turban, Sawyer's coat-thing, all of Mina's hairpins, and a couple of Jekyll's chemicals for my revenge. Served them all right, if you ask me.  
  
Quartermain and Nemo have no sense of humour.  
  
Jekyll's a doormat, luckily, and Gray's too poofy to be taken seriously. Sawyer was a little hard to reason with, though.  
  
Mina took it surprisingly well, and lately she's been acting all smug about something.  
  
So I suppose I'll never know what happened that day, but I don't mind too much in the long run. I'm thinking I might stop wearing my coat, because everyone on this boat is paranoid, and way too on the edge. Obviously they suspect me of taking that vial of Jekyll's formula that went missing.  
  
Don't know when a fellow's willing to call it quits, do they? So I'll stay out of the way.  
  
In the meantime, I'm still trying to figure out where I got these cuts. Must have been a couple of nails loose on a door somewhere. I can't see them, but I can feel them; these two little holes on my arm.  
  
Strangest thing.  
  
The end 


End file.
